Last time we were scavenging for drinks on the side of the road in Mexico’s Baja California. Well liquids are nice but they’d be better used to wash down some solid food. As we saw last time you need to consider yourself lucky in Baja California to find solid food in the trashcan. Those chocolate puddings don’t come along every day. However, in Mexico’s Baja California Sur the solid food comes to you.
Down here in the south of Baja California the flies are everywhere. Just get off your bicycle and you’ll be swarmed in minutes if not seconds. Rather than seeing them as a stubborn frustrating nuisance, think of them as a meaty source of free food. My first experience came completely by accident while we stopped to take a water break during our second day in Baja California Sur. Seconds after we got off our bicycles we were swarmed by hundreds of flies. No matter how much we swatted at them and danced around they just kept coming (they’re really stubborn buggers). Well I figured there’s no use trying to get rid of them and decided to stop my antics. There are just too many of them so I just let them crawl around on me, letting them try and find whatever it is they find so appealing about me (Kevin, to no avail, kept dancing and swatting). Seconds later one of them finds my nostril and crawls on in. I instinctively sniff and up it goes hitting the back of my throat where again I instinctively swallow. It took me several seconds before I even realized what had happened: I just had my first fly without even trying. That was easy! I didn’t even have to deal with the taste or having it crawl around in my mouth.
Tip #1: Wait patiently and you’ll eventually snort a fly. Keep on waiting and you’ll eventually make a meal of them.
If you can’t be bothered to hop off your bicycle and wait patiently for one of those buggers to crawl up your nostril then not to worry. Here’s another method of making a meal of those flies (though this is not for the squeamish). Slow down a little, below 23km/h is good and just open your mouth (which you’re probably doing anyway since you’re huffing and puffing for oxygen as you cycle). At speeds above 23km/h the flies will have trouble keeping up with you (some will be able to keep up and annoy you but not enough to make a meal). At 23km/h those flies will find you and buzz around you, crawl on your bicycle and on you. Rather than swat those flies away just open wide and wait for them to fly or crawl into your mouth. Every time one gets in there just munch away or swallow it whole. Now you’re getting your protein. And the good thing about flies is that there’s a never-ending supply of them.
Tip #2: For the lazy cyclist just open your mouth and let the dumb flies come to you and meet their doom.
One thing to keep in mind, though, is that the flies are only out during the day (the afternoon is best). But once the sun goes down then you’ve missed your chance since they too need their rest after a long day spent annoying you.
Now many of you might be thinking, “Hey flies carry harmful bacteria that might make you sick. This can’t be healthy?” And to that I say. By now in your travels you will probably not have showered for weeks, are not diligently washing your hands before you handle food (because you just can’t), and the washroom situation… well let’s not even go there. Let’s face it, by now you are a mess; filthy, stinky and dirty. If you’re not sick after all that then I’m sure you can handle a little old fly. After all you’ve probably got more bacteria crawling all over you and all your belongings that you’re probably more hazardous to the flies than they are to you.
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